Patchy's Blog


Summer is a bad season for a TV watching zombie. A lot of shows go away for the summer. Some stick around as reruns. Now that there’s the ole Netty-Flixy, people don’t really watch reruns anymore, so the networks make summer shows.

Zombies don’t really do summer things. Zombies are more of a fall-winter creature. People go out and swim, but not zombies. Did you see that episode of The Walking Dead where they found a zombie in a well? Did you see what the water did to that zombie? Well, let’s just say, Patchy does NOT want to become AquaPatchy. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 

So what else is there to do when it’s hot outside? Stay in where there’s air conditioning and watch the Netty-Flixy. But theres something about Netty-Flixy that takes away from TV shows. Shows on Netty-Flixy don’t feel like TV shows. For one thing, people don’t live tweet Netty-Flixy because you can watch Netty-Flixy whenever you want.

Patchy misses live-tweeting TV shows. It’s fun. Some shows have really cool people who live tweet and they’re fun to talk to and interact with. Other shows have mean people who make fun of Patchy. BOOOOO!!!! Patchy loved APB on Fox because the social media was THE BEST!!!!! But they cancelled it. BOOO!!!!! APB would have been a fun SUMMER SHOW!!!!

When it’s summer and Patchy goes outside, Patchy stinks really bad because it’s so hot. And, before anyone says Patchy needs to take a shower, did you see the part about AquaPatchy!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Patchy’s favorite thing about summer is sitting outside at night with music and tiki torches. And no TV. Maybe a Kindle. Pathy reads. But if the screen is bright then there’s all kinds of bugs. DON’T ASK PATCHY HOW HE KNOWS THIS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

So Patchy doesn’t really do summer stuff, because Patchy’s a zombie. No basketball, no baseball, no football, no golf, no extreme sports. Patchy just has his little zombie existence that consists mostly of eating and watching TV and sleeping and going to the bathroom, but Patchette says I’m not allowed to blog about that last part. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Zombie life isn’t bad, but it’s better when there are good TV shows on. When there are good TV shows on, Patchy looks forward to them ALL DAY!!!! Sometimes ALL WEEK!!!! But Patchy is definitely sad when summer is here and there aren’t that many shows to watch. Thankfully, AMC is keeping summer fun with new episodes of Preacher and Fear the Walking Dead. But mostly Patchy will be hanging out with Netty-Flixy this summer.

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