Patchy's Blog


Last week ended with a CLIFFHANGER!!!!!! Patchy hates cliffhangers. Luckily, Patchy and Patchette didn’t watch until Saturday night, so we didn’t have to wait a WHOLE WEEK to see how it resolved!!!!! SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP!!!!

So we pick right back up with Amy telling Kevin to GET OUT!!!!! Except Kevin drops the bomb on Amy that he is one of the thirty-six righteous souls and he must find the other thirty-five to save the world. Then Kevin, Amy, Yvette, and Reese go hard to work finding the other righteous souls. It all ends with a sequence where Kevin is an astronaut in geosynchronous orbit with earth and he’s giving a great big space hug to another astronaut named Yuri and then BOOM… KEVIN SNAPS OUT OF IT!!!!! It was a daydream, people!!!!!

Or, more accurately, Amy snaps him out of it. And then she kicks him out.

So then Kevin goes to stay with his friend from the restaurant… whose name Patchy CANNOT REMEMBER… and sleeps on his couch. The next morning, he wakes up in a really impressive looking suit and tie, with a classified ad in his pocket for a job. He tires to take the suit jacket off, but there’s another one beneath it. Kevin tells Yvette he HATES wearing suits… although, dude, he looked really good in it and WHO HATES WEARING SUITS??? THEY’RE AWESOME!!!!!

So Kevin shows up to apply for this job and there’s another guy there waiting to apply for the same job… wearing the EXACT SAME SUIT!!!! And the guy tells Kevin to scram, because he’s gonna land the job, and then a car drives by and SPLASHES HIM WITH DIRTY STREET WATER FROM THE CURB!!!!! EWWWWWWW!!!!!

So the guy gets all dejected and tells Kevin he was just blustering and he wasn’t gonna get this job anyway, and Kevin does what Kevin would do… he gives this guy HIS suit!!!!! And then he’s walking around in his underwear because the guy is wearing his suit. He runs back to his truck and it’s LOCKED!!!! And the truck keys are in the suit!!!!! So he jumps in the bed and wouldn’t ya know it, Officer Nate shows up to investigate a complaint about a naked mad running around.

They talk, they laugh, and Nate makes Kevin wait in the parking lot until the other dude comes out with his suit. And the guy tells Kevin that he BLEW the interview and didn’t get the job. BIG SHOCK!!!! So Kevin tells him he’s gonna help him get a job and away they go.

Kevin puts the guy’s resume online and sends an email blast to EVERYONE the guy knows telling them that he’s looking for a job. And the guy FREAKS OUT!!!!! He says his wife didn’t know!!!!! And then Kevin follows the guy and finds out he got kicked out of his house because he’d been lying to his wife about having a job for EIGHTEEN MONTHS!!!!!! And not only that, but he’d also SPENT THEIR LIFE’S SAVINGS!!!!!!

Oh, this guy’s a MESS!!!!!

So Kevin can’t stay with his friend from the restaurant anymore so he goes to stay with Kristin for a while. He thinks they’re gonna hang out and have fun and stuff, but nope… she’s got a DATE!!!! With some not-Kevin guy!!!! And then when she comes home from her date, Kevin is totally creeping out the window at her. So…. they’re like, NOPE!!!!! This is WEIRD!!!!! So then Kevin asks to stay with Officer Nate. Turns out Officer Nate had a recent divorce. And Kevin brings that one guy who got kicked out of his house over and the guy seems to like single life. He even makes them all nachos!!!!! UH OH!!!!!

Kevin decides to go work things out with Amy by taking her some rocky road ice cream, but she KICKS HIM OUT!!!!! Because that’s her new thing now, kicking Kevin out. And Reese ain’t happy about this at all. She’s REALLY UPSET.

So Reese shows up at Officer Nate’s place and Kevin tells her she needs to listen to her mom and go to school and that Amy was right about everything… except Reese doesn’t go to school. She RUNS AWAY instead!!!!

Meanwhile, this guy Kevin is trying to find a job for has an interview for a creative director position at a big, fancy company… only one problem. He has no SHOES!!!! He sends Kevin to go get his shoes. And Kevin meets the guy’s wife. And the guy’s wife tells Kevin that she use to be a graphic designer and there’s no way he could be good at that job because he has a HORRIBLE eye for design. UH OH!!!! Then Kevin gets the call that Reese is missing and Kevin drops everything to find her. He even pulls Officer Nate over!!!!! And then he remembers that Reese put a stalker app on his phone and that he can stalk her with it, too. So Amy and Kevin find Reese in this nasty warehouse, up high on a rusted catwalk. And she says she won’t come down because she has demands. And Amy agrees to some… NOT ALL… of her demands. And when Reese tries to get down, she falls… and Yvette SAVES HER!!!! And Amy sees the miracle happen!!!! Just like Reese has been saying!!!!! But Kevin… he suddenly remembers that he needs to take that guy his shoes. And she gets there just as the interview is about to start and who do you think walks in… IT’S THE GUY’S WIFE!!!! She’s interviewing for the job now!!!!! And he tells the people at the company they’d be stupid not to hire her.

All’s well that ends well, right? EXCEPT IT’S NOT OVER!!!! Kevin finds a magical copy machine there that spits out color copies of the visions he’s been seeing. Well, pictures of his visions. So he takes the copies to Yvette… and he tells her he knows where those pictures were taken… ASIA.

Cause, yanno, Asia is ¬†HUGE PLACE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!? Anyway… that sets up next week. Patchy can’t wait to see next week… Yvette is gonna get a special helper!!!!!! Another not-angel entity who she doesn’t seem to want around!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

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