Patchy's Blog


Gotham has been scary lately. There’s the psycho killer named Pyg who wears a severed pig head over his face, and then puts severed pig heads over his victims’ heads. And there’s Butch, who came back from the dead as Solomon Grundy (someone on Twitter dubbed him ZOMBIE BUTCH!!!!! Patchy likes that!!!!). And then there’s Stabby Babs who has been acting CREEPY all season, ever since she died and Ra’s Al Ghul brought her back to life… and speaking of Ra’s, Bruce MURDERED old Ra’s to avenge his parents and ever since then, he’s been WHACKED OUT OF HIS EVER LOVING MIND.

EDIT: So technically Patchy got all confused and he got two episodes mixed up here. Whatever. Until this Pyg guy is gone, Patchy won’t be paying very close attention to Gotham. It is what it is.


In this episode of Gotham, Victor Zsasz is apparently on vacation. Penguin brings in a new hitman who is REALLY STINKING COOL. The guy was named Headhunter, and as he explained to anyone who would listen, he always shoots his victims twice. The first time kills them, the second time is just “my signature.” NICE!!!!! SPOILER ALERT: Headhunter don’t make it out of the episode alive. BOOOOO!!!!!!

So Harvey and Jim are still hunting for this mysterious killer who calls himself Pyg spelled with a “y”. Patchy hates this storyline and Patchy is going to fast-coward past most of it. Basically, Pyg kills more cops and then calls Jim to tell him to stay away, because he’s the only good cop in Gotham and the point of all this is to punish the dirty cops. Of course, Jim tries his best to save everyone from Pyg. Basically, every episode with Pyg in it is the same. Pyg kills a bunch of people, Pyg has some moral grandstanding to do, and Jim always comes up short on catching Pyg. Pyg gets on Patchy’s last freaking nerve. Seriously, Patchy is on the verse of NOT WATCHING Gotham anymore because of this stupid Pyg character. There’s nothing fun about Pyg. At least Penguin and Riddler and Fish Mooney and all the other bad guys have been fun. This guy is just ten levels of psycho creepy, and the severed pig heads make Patchy’s skin crawl.

However, Sofia has a surprise for Jim. She pays off the mayor to have Harvey demoted as chief of police and replaced by Jim. Does Jim get all excited and THANK Sofia for this? NOPE!!!! Jim and Sofia get in a huge fight about it, and Sofia reads Jim’s mail to him right then and there. Despite his protests, she tells him that she knows he WANTS the job because he’s still carrying the paperwork around. If he didn’t, he would’ve thrown the papers away. Jim doesn’t like being talked to this way so he sulks off, growling and scowling and being a general Gloomy Gus. Oh well. Patchy knows Jim and Sofia love each other. Sofia knows she loves Jim. It’ll just take Jim a little while to figure it out. After all, he’s hung up on the whole Sofia is the daughter of Gotham’s most notorious crime boss thing.

Sofia, meanwhile, is still flirting with the Penguin like it’s her job. She’s got her orphanage up and running and Penguin comes to her to confide about how stressed out he is and Sofia tells him how her father use to raise chickens because any good crime lord needs a hobby outside of crime. Makes sense, right? So what does Penguin do? He looks out the window and sees this little mute kid steal some other kid’s backpack, pour gasoline on it, and light a match. Penguin throws the window open and tells him not to do that!!!! Not because it’s wrong, but because IT’S TOO OBVIOUS TO YOUR ENEMIES!!!!!! So Penguin’s hobby is to take this kid in as a mentor. Not as a friend, he tells the kid that friends are dangerous, but partners are GOOD!!!!!

Barbara, Selina, and Tabitha are given an ultimatum by the Penguin to go capture Ed and put an end to Ed’s shows in the fight club in the Narrows where he makes fun of Penguin. And Ed is having a lot of fun down there, because Solomon keeps ripping people’s arms off and beating them to death with their own arm, so they’re kind of a big deal. Anyway, the trio show up and Tabitha realizes Solomon Grundy is Butch. Babs realizes Lee is running the joint. They bond over the fact they both got dumped by Jim. Selina goes and beats the hell out of Ed.

Then, somehow, this whole thing escalates into a fight between Ed’s best fighter and the girls’ best fighter. So Tabitha and Grundy end up in the ring together, and Barbara has a secret weapon for Tabitha. It’s a baseball bat with HAMMERS in it. Yanno, like most people have a bat with nails in it, and Negan has a bat wrapped in barbed wire. Well… Babs has hammers in her bat. And Tabitha is all like, “I don’t need this. Butch loves me.” And then Butch starts beating her like one of those bags at the gym that you’re supposed to punch. Anyway, Tabitha finally decides she had enough and takes the hammer bat and whacks Solomon in the face with it. Then Solomon remembers he’s Butch!!! He tells Tabitha he loves her… but she was already swinging the bat and it was too late to stop and she knocks him out. UH-OH!!!!! About that time, Firefly shows up and Lee has to shoot Firefly’s gas tanks to keep her from torching the place. And then the leader there, some woman named Cherry who looks like she was an extra in a Mad Max movie, gets all mouthy with Barbara, so Barbara shoots her. And then… somehow. Lee becomes the new leader. So Barbara and Tabitha and Selina all decide to make a quick retreat while Lee is buying everyone drinks so they don’t kill her.

Bruce, meanwhile, decides to act like a rich, spoiled college kid even though he’s just a teenager. He buys a nightclub so him and his friends can party, and also so he can see the look on some bully’s face when he KICKS THE KID OUT OF THE CLUB!!!! So Bruce is basically turning into an after school special. Not a great direction, but whatever. Bruce was WAY more interesting when Alfred was teaching him how to be Batman.

Harvey gets out of the hospital from having his throat slit by Pyg, and Harvey tries to be the police captain, but he screws everything up. He gets some cops killed. Then there’s this whole thing where the cops expect Harvey to show up and Harvey doesn’t want to go and Jim tells him he’s goo with him for support. But Harvey still doesn’t show up. And these cops act like Jim is Superman, and Jim leaves and finds Harvey in the office drinking and blabbering like a drunk fool and Jim receives him of command and tells him that HE is the new captain. Harvey tells him congratulations for getting what he always wanted.

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